Citizen-Elect Advances in Ancient Martial Art.

NEW YORK — Today, in a colorful exposé of the human faculties, a local graduate student successfully passed both his green card interview and blue belt exam. After convincing an immigration officer of their undivided love for each other, as well as credible financial ties, the happy couple celebrated with capucino’s and shrimp salad. With his paperwork now neatly underway, and having reached an unprecedented degree of administrative organization, the blushing husband set out to his weekly ninja class only hours later.

Says the recently minted citizen-elect, “I had no idea my exam would be on the same day. But I did it and passed!”

On his way home to his beautiful bride, the increasingly deadly young man picked up some Indian food and two dozen orange roses. Allegations that he was overheard saying to himself, “Man, I can’t wait to get that first welfare check,” are yet to be confirmed.

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